by R.T. Allenson

I recall the moments clearly, as I do recall them now. No doubt they were, though timeless I could record. And though a memory, I could feel. That feeling. The effervescent feeling, the quietness and the weightlessness.Blind though I perceived all around me quite well. I could even move, although there were limits as to where I could and would move.

The sides for example, where places where I found barriers of a sort that halted my progress. I could not perceive anything beyond them as well, hard as I try. Above me was a similar barrier and although I could perceive well beyond it, there was nothing I could see but unending brightness. I grew curious of what lay ahead but as I said, there were limits as to whereI could go.

Below me however, I dare not go. For at the beginning, if there ever was any, I had perceived a terrible horror below me. Waiting for my descent, though not above in beckoning me. But I had learned to prevent myself from perceiving the thing that lay beneath me as time passed and henceforth, there was peace.

And in this peace, I was nurtured thoroughly by my thoughts. My thinking was, as it always had been since I became, fulfilled my every need and want. Nourishment was a mere idea, as I had no idea what I needed to nourish myself in those moments. But all the same, my need was sated by the mere thought of nourishment.

I had no grasp of time however and as such, I could not discern how many moments would pass or had passed. But I knew however, that the moments were growing somber. The dullness grew slightly at first, thetaint appearing where I had made my motions and movements. They were strange conflagrations, dark in appearance and I easily perceived them.

In fact, they were all I could see as the moments progressed. And I was afraid for my safety as they were frightening to behold and I knew not what to do with them. It then came to pass that they were all around me, making their way through me. And I knew then the meaning of these portents and their purpose; they reminded me of it, made it known to me again. And as I felt the world around me ferociously bubble as it had when I first recalled, I knew then that I had reason to return to the deepness, the thing that lay beneath me.

And then as quickly as I could,  I moved towards the deepness, the gulf that had called out to me in the beginning moments. I was empowered somewhat, by the taint as I had a fragment of its being within me and thus, I knew what it was now.

Moments would pass as I felt myself going deeper into the abyss, the light above me growing fainter at each passing moment. I was unafraid now and I knew there was something was there, if I reached the bottom. And though I knew then that I was in the dark, I pondered for a while if I had always been here and if my manner of perception had changed in an earlier moment. Regardless, I made my way downwards. Hoping to find theanswer to all the questions.

And as I reached the substructure of world, I knew then what would happen. The sound was the herald of my becoming and the darkness below flowered as light, the pureness of it all encompassed my being…

…and then I was born.